High-Quality Thanks vs. Low-Quality Thanks
Experiencing gratitude, whether receiving or giving, is one of the greatest catalysts for experiencing a sense of well-being. It would make sense that we'd want to experience gratitude, whether giving or receiving, as "effectively" as possible. Turns out there's a couple of different ways to "say thanks."
Low-Quality Thanks (L-QT) – Let's start with an example: Christy buys me a new pair of running shoes and gives them to me at dinner. It's not my birthday, she simply wanted to show appreciation for "us." She bought my favorite brand, favorite color, everything... she put a lot of thought into it.
A low-quality thank you sounds like this: "Oh, wow, thank you! I LOVE them. The color is awesome, they'll be great on the trails. They're my new favorite. They're going to make me look FAST! Thank you!"
Seems like an OK response. So what's the problem?
My low-quality thank you was focused on the shoes. Not Christy. I didn't direct my thankful intention towards the "you" in "thank YOU."
A high-quality thank you sounds like this: "Oh, wow! You are so incredibly thoughtful. You always have a way of showing appreciation in the most thought out, meaningful ways. You're so good at making me feel loved. Thank you!"
In a high-quality thank you, we acknowledge the thought, the effort, and the intention of the person that has shown gratitude toward us. Just like Christy choosing just the right shoe by giving careful consideration, I, too, can us equal consideration when choosing the focus of my appreciation back to her.
High-quality well-being expresses high-quality thanks. There's an incredible amount of science around the increase in positivity resonance between the giver and receiver when we give H-QLs. Both parties genuinely feeling equally appreciated, amplifying the upward spiral of positive emotions than when delivering an L-QL.
Interested in increasing your HQ-L? Let's do this: For the next 5 days, hunt an opportunity to give an HQ-L, each day. When giving your HQ-L, make eye contact, give a hug, knuckles or a hand-shake. Focus on them... not the deed or the gift. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and share your experience with me!
Thanks for walking down this section of the mesearching trail with me!
This example is fictitious, as I have far too many pairs of funning (not a typo) shoes.
This share is part of my learning through a positive psychology certificate course through UNC-Chapel Hill. It was with Dr. Barbara Fredrickson and focused on positive emotions.