The Present of Presence

December 7, 2018

 

This past Wednesday, my coach, mentor, and friend, Dr. Friedemann Schaub, addressed a seasonal "situation" on his Transformation Talk Radio show that some of (most?) us will experience in the very near future: home for the holidays. Specifically, gift giving, and that gift being our best self.

 

I called into the show to talk to my friend and ask him a question about the challenges of "gift giving." Going home for the holidays can be a little like going back in time. Back to an older version of your self, back to an unfamiliar version of your parents, siblings, extended family, etc. To add to that, their comfortable perception of the version of you that you no longer are, and you, of them. It's like we keep unwrapping the same gift, year after year.

 

This holiday season, give the present of presence. It's the gift that keeps on giving. The present of presence puts us in the hear and now, listening to and sharing the stories of each of our evolutions. These stories are not elf-sized, either. They're big and deep and meaningful discussions that illuminate who we each are and who we're each becoming. These presents of presence get more and more valuable the more we learn, the more we share. Perhaps the best part is this: no hedonic adaptation. We won't tire of these gifts over time–they keep on giving.

 

Here's a gift idea that will fulfill the present of presence: Give the gift of curiosity. It costs you nothing but is loaded with value. Ask at least two questions to the person sharing their stories with you instead of reacting with your own. The questions you respond with are like strands of holiday lights, illuminating all that are listening, making everyone's holiday merry and bright.

 

Happiest of holidays, all.

 

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